(A small-town bank.  A small table and two chairs are at C.  A counter is off to one side.

JOE enters, tentatively, at R..  He crosses to an empty counter containing only a placard and a bell.  The placard clearly reads, "RING BELL FOR SERVICE".  JOE rings the bell and steps back, awaiting a response.  After a moment LISA enters L., from behind the counter.  She wears large, thick glasses and a dressy scarf.)

LISA.  Welcome to Breezewood National Bank.  With savings you get free checking, with checking you get free savings, with a money market you get free checks but no free checking, with a revolving charge you get free checking and savings, and with an IRA you get everything else for free.

JOE.  Yes, I'd like to see about the job?

LISA.  What job?

JOE.  The sign in the window?  It says "Now hiring".

LISA.  Hold on, you need to see the manager.   (LISA exits quickly, L.  After a moment, she re-enters.  She has removed the glasses and scarf and now wears a smart jacket.)  Hi, my name is Lisa.  How may I help you?

JOE.  You’re the manager?

LISA.  Right now I am, because everyone else quit on account of the robbery last week.  I hear you're looking for a job?

JOE.  Right.

LISA.  Great.  Have a seat.   (they take seats at the table, C.)  I need to see some sort of I.D., please.

JOE.  Do you have to?

LISA.  You want the job or not?

JOE.  Sure.

            (JOE pulls out his wallet, and extracts a card.  He hands it to LISA.)

LISA.  Dorothy Jordan?

JOE.  Try this one.

            (hands LISA a second card)

LISA.  Lyle Fujiyama.

JOE.  Sorry.

            (hands LISA a third card)

LISA.  Joseph Green.

JOE.  That’s me.

LISA.  I'm sorry, would you mind doing that again, please?

JOE.  Something wrong?

LISA.  Just hold out your arm and give me the card again.  (JOE obliges, as LISA subtly checks out his hand.)   Thank you.  Excuse me just a moment.

          (LISA exits R.  After a brief moment she returns and sits atop the table at C.  She unrolls a flesh-tone stocking from a leg.)

JOE.  Is this part of the interview?

LISA.  Could be.  (tosses the stocking to JOE)   Put this on.  Over your head.

JOE.  You want me to what?

LISA.   (thunders)   PUT IT ON !!!

            (JOE quickly puts the stocking over his head and face.)

JOE.  Like this?

LISA.  Now say, "Hurry up, I don't have all day".

JOE.  Hurry up, I don't have all day.

LISA.  (deepens her voice)  Deeper.

JOE.  (deeper)  Hurry up, I don't have all day.

LISA.  I thought so!  You're the crook who robbed us last week!

JOE.  Was that me?

LISA.  Your wrist.  It has "Joe" tattooed on it.  You came back to see me!

JOE.   (rises)  Umm, I need to go now.

LISA.  Not so fast.

JOE.  I think my mother's calling.

            (JOE rushes out, R.  LISA waits smugly.  After a moment, JOE returns.)

JOE.  You locked us in!

LISA.  (affirmative)   Uh-huh.

JOE.  What'd you do that for?

LISA.  I want to talk to you.